I spent this last weekend damaging Dorian's Liver. He used to be such a good and well mannered liver. It appears that after many long years of abuse he has finally had enough.
"I'm taken a leave of absence and traveling to Australia." This is all he left on his runaway note. It seems he has always had a passion for the wild life that inhabit this area. I'm not sure exactly what he's out to prove, but I really miss getting drunk with him. I heard from the airline he has been traveling incognito and using my creditcard. His last known alias was: Basil Hallward. If anyone happens to spot him any time soon please tell him to write home. His Kidneys miss him.
posted by DorianGray1854 at 11:57 AM
14 Comments:
Dorian i have a message to pass on to you from your liver? He says he thinks he left the oven on - could you check? and he also asked me to tell you to stop masturbating under your boss's desk. and please remember to feed the dog - last time we saw it, it was heading over to Bloodgood's place to take a piss...
Thats some fucked up shit. If that were my liver, it would not be welcome back home. Me and my organs have an understanding, once you leave your gone for good. And you know what, I still have all my organs. They have learned to respect me and that is what you must teach yours.
It is awful nice that it visited Jane, I would take all my organs to visit her if I could.
Damn it that is my DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
arrrrr...i just left Janey's place. The liver makes a fine doorstop...arrr
*perk*
Hi again Dorian! I can't stop thinking of you!
Dorian:
Your liver is covorting around town with Genet, particularly at Sneakers.
Dear Dorian's kidneys:
Watch out for the dog! Run as fast as your little kidney-feet will allow! Because it hasn't eaten for days, and you're just sitting there on the floor in your metal tray, writing letters, and well. . .
Carla i *think* you might find that Dorian is committed to having granny sex with me deary.
There are a couple stray dogs around my house if you are desperate?
Oooh, is that slutty? Hang on a sec. . . I need to go to a hypnotist, because all along I've been looking to Dorian as my role model. Dorian, you with your sad and ponderous picture, you and your hard liver -- why, Dorian? Why did you lead me astray?
oh fuck. sorry Ing. Dorian is mine - he was given to me last weekeend in exchange for a watered down beer and a bag of potato chips.
i won't be done with him for quite some time - can you wait?
Jane
I can't help the mastubation thing,when I get the urge I gotta splurge.
bloodgood
My Doggie!!
captain
are you for real and shit, because It would wierd me out to kiss my own face.
ing
I didn't mean lead you astray oops. I'll make up for it some how. I am honored that you think of me as a role model; this week I stole the lolli pops from 7 little girls.
carla
holy smokes!! you look good in blue.
PDD
Did you you give him my message?
wolf
sorry I'll beat it out of him when he comes back.
flamingo
maybe you should get a transplant or a trade up, I think I know someone who can get you an 98' model on the black market for around $50.
sparkle
ewwwww!!!
carl/carla
I think we need to come to an understanding here!!
Woah, Dorian, you didn't tell me about you and Jane. I need to back waaaay off with the whole role-model thing. Instead, would you be my platonic ideal?
Thanks,
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